YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
