I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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