you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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