it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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