The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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