I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
