You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
