See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
