Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
