we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
