If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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