Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
