Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
