Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
