Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't put those talents on a resume
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
