Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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