i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
