Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
