Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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