i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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