Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
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