I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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