There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
