I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
