He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize