so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Everything about him screamed your future.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
