"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
