i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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