There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
