Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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