have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
