The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
