Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I will be naked everywhere
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
