Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
