Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
