She said her name was "party"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize