just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
