I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
