I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
