The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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