ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
