It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize