5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I had to cum in my sink.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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