Already got asked if we're dating
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize