wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
