after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
PANTIES FOUND
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
