i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize