we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
