question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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