I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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