Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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