he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
