If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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