I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
