She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize