saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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