News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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