i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
