I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
